Rêveur (Dreamer)
Okay here... It's sorta sad, I guess, but I was inspired by "The Alchemist" for the beginning... more of the dreamer part soon. <3
Okay, here it is, Rêveur:
“All you do is sit around in your room dreaming all day!” her mother had shouted. “And I’m sick of it!”
“Never stop, dreaming, my child,” had said her grandmother, “for dreaming is the only thing that can keep you alive.”
What was she to do? Listen to her grandmother, the sensible one, known as the wisest in her entire family tree, and all of her friend’s families, as well? Or to her own mother, the women who had known her for nearly a year before she herself knew either of them even existed? What was she to do?
“Don’t listen to your grandmother,” he father had once said, before he disappeared. “She a bloody psycho bitch, and if you know what’s good for you, you won’t give a damn about anything she says to you.”
“Your mother is a tad… crazy, darling,” said her grandfather, before his death. “I really wouldn’t consider listening to her, if you know what I mean.” He’d winked at her.
Well, what was wrong with dreaming? she asked herself. She couldn’t see anything wrong with it. Would it harm her? Someone else? She shook her head. I don’t think so, she thought. How could dreaming possibly hurt anyone? She trusted her grandmother enough.
But what about her mother? Didn’t her dear mère’s opinion count for anything? Well, she thought, she’s not exactly the nicest person… She hasn’t let up on her bad mood for a long time, since father left… But that was okay. She forgave her mother. She didn’t mind the yelling… not so much as she did the beating. When her mother hit her, it stung… But that was okay. She knew better than to complain. It was her father’s fault, wasn’t it? Her mother’d said he was a bastard to her. But she didn’t understand.
If her father was to blame, why was it mother who hurt her? She never could understand her mother’s view on it. But she knew not to ask. She wasn’t a complete fool. She valued herself enough not to anger her mother anymore than she usually did.
“Your mother? Don’t trust her,” said grandmother. “She’s a psychotic young fool, abandoned by the love of her life. She takes it out on the closest thing at hand – you.”
“Me? If she is angry at father, then why is she hurting me?”
“Child, child… You can’t understand…”
“Why not?”
“If I tell you something I shouldn’t, your mother will become angry again.”
“And she will hurt me?”
“She will hurt me,” her grandmother replied gravely.
“Oh.”
“And that will not be worth you knowing, understanding.”
“It will not?”
“No. My frail old body can’t withstand her attacking me again…”
Her mother had attacked her grandmother before. She herself had seen it. But she did nothing to help her. She stayed hidden, in the dim light of the broken lamp, unseen in the shadows of the old armchair her father used to sit in.
And she just watched.
She watched her grandmother become beaten, bloodied with the great sticks and whips her mother kept around the house. She cringed with each blow, unable to imagine what it would feel like – until her mother spotted her, hiding behind the dusty old armchair.
“Little bitch, what are you doing there?!” she’d shouted, gripping her arm and pulling her into the light.
“Mother!” was all she could manage before her mother’s piercing eyes silenced her. She didn’t even notice her grandmother moving away.
And then the pain came.
Her arms first, of course, as always. She tried to close her eyes to hide the bloodied limbs from her sight; maybe if she couldn’t see them, they would disappear – but her mother forced her to open her eyes and watch as her entire body became bruised and damaged. She didn’t fight in the least, and her mother struck her over and over, her body becoming more and more painful to bear feeling – until a new, strange numbness overcame her, and her eyes glazed over. She fell and hit the ground, blood trickling down from her arms, her legs, her chest, her face…
And her grandmother just watched.
Like I said, sorta sad, but there it is. More to come, if I feel like it.
Bye!
Sunaka-chan aka
-Star*
